Duffy revealed being drugged, raped and kidnapped on her birthday
Duffy has revealed more harrowing details of how she was kidnapped at her own birthday party after being drugged. She was then taken abroad and repeatedly raped.
It’s the first time she’s given more details of the terrifying experience, which led to her retreating from the spotlight after she posted an initial revelation at the end of February.
“Rape is like living murder, you are alive, but dead,” Duffy wrote on site duffywords.com.
“All I can say is it took an extremely long time, sometimes feeling never ending, to reclaim the shattered pieces of me. “I can’t remember getting on the plane and came round in the back of a travelling vehicle. I was put into a hotel room and the perpetrator returned and raped me.”
Duffy revealed “I was stuck with him for another day, he didn’t look at me, I was to walk behind him, I was somewhat conscious and withdrawn. I contemplated running away to the neighbouring city or town, as he slept, but had no cash.”
“It didn’t feel safe to go to the police,” she continued. “I felt if anything went wrong, I would be dead, and he would have killed me. I could not risk being mishandled or it being all over the news during my danger.”
She says she didn’t go to the police because it “didn’t feel safe”. Duffy said she’d taken steps to reveal what happened after realising the impact it had had on her own the past 10 years. “I would not see someone, a physical soul, for sometimes weeks and weeks and weeks at a time, remaining alone,” she said.
“I would take off my pyjamas and throw them in the fire and put on another set. My hair would get so knotted from not brushing it, as I grieved, I cut it all off.
“I thought the public disclosure of my story would utterly destroy my life, emotionally, while hiding my story was destroying my life so much more”
After her ordeal, Duffy became a recluse and said she struggled to speak to anyone about what had happened to her. She added: “After it happened, someone I knew came to my house and saw me on my balcony staring into space, wrapped in a blanket.
The person said I was yellow in colour and I was like a dead person. “They were obviously frightened but did not want to interfere, they had never seen anything like it.
“I could not risk being mishandled or it being all over the news during my danger. I really had to follow what instincts I had.
“Once someone threatened to ‘out’ my story and I had to tell a female police officer what information the person held about me, and why the blackmail was so frightening.
“The second incident was when three men tried to enter my house as intruders, I told the second female officer about the rape then also. The identity of the rapist should be only handled by the police, and that is between me and them.”
“I moved five times in the immediate three years after, never feeling safe from the rapist, I was on the run for so long.
“I found somewhere to live, the fifth house, it was not as confined as the other houses, where I grieved silently. This place I would spend solitary years to find the stability to recover, I had stopped running and relocating.
“I felt he could not find me in the fifth house, I felt safe. I feel safe now.” Since starting her recovery Duffy has reconciled with her family.
However, Duffy later said she had given a lot of thought to returning to music and said she wouldn’t allow her future career to be dictated by her attacker.
She said: “I believe that not singing is killing me. I’ve come to realise I can’t erase myself, I live in my being, so I have to be honest and have faith in the outcome.
“I owe it to myself to release a body of work some day, though I very much doubt I will ever be the person people once knew.